11/26/06 @ 7:43 PM

These are trying times. Many things are going on at the same time. My basic current, as being the last 23 years, family, is totally dysfunctional. I'm 61.

My marriage since 1983 is for all practical purposes pretty much over. We are still together because of logistics. It's really too bad, because my wife is really a great person. Good looking, sexy, great personality, smart, sucessful, resourseful, great Mom, and still does all my laundry along with everybody else in the family regularly. She has a great smile, and meets no strangers. Fortunely, my son has her smile. My wife, Kathy, got her smile from her Mom, one of the most sweetest, uncomplaining, though I'm sure she has her aches and pains, lady I've known.

The most current "problem" I have is with my youngest son, Kevin, 18.

A chapter from a book I have been thinking about for a long time: don't know the date I wrote this; was when I was living in South Florida. The concept at the time was this guy took off a month a rented a "cabin" in the NC mountains.

I stepped on up the porch which covered the whole front of the house. There was an old swing at one end attached to the roof with heavy chains bolted into the roof of the porch. Along side of the swing sat large coffee cans spilling over with petunia's.

We walked on in through the front screen door and I immediately smelt burnt wood and oil of some kind and stale cigerette smoke. Every window that I could see was open and it was actually kind of cool inside the living room.

The girl holleres out," Ma, gotta a stranger in the house! The girl's mother was standing at a counter next to the sink peeling some really big, juicy tomatoes. I could smell those tomatoes and I was very hungry, being that I hadn't eaten in so far that day.

The woman looked up at me, and I stuck my hand hand out to shake hers out of habit and said my name is Richard, people call me Rich. I slowly moved my hand to my beard and scratched.
I said, Nice to meet you, Mame. Those are good looking tomatoes.
She said, "You hungry boy?"

I

More letters to my son Si.

Actually written on 5/30/06 @ 1755

Sup Si? or how about Dear Si?:

Can't describe in words the void I've had since you left. I had so much fun; your high energy and enthusiam, I sorely miss. More about all that later.

Anyhow I'm at Cosby Campground on the edge of the Great Smokies. It's pretty quiet here as the season hasn't got into full swinf yet; though there's more people here than the last time I was here, perhaps last late Fall just B4 it closed 4 the season. I did come here in early Spring this year, either late March or early April on the spur of the moment only to find it was closed until May!

Warning!: I may or may not finish this "piece" to you. But hopefully you will get the drift of my heart, sorta speak. I probably don't to mention that I'm in process of gettin' intoxicated. One pint of vodka and 6 Heinekins, By the way, the Dutch (me thinks) makes better beer than the Germans.

I already having pauses in this writing, which means my mind is racing to and fro.

So, how and why am I here on a Tuesday night? (Pause) I just applauded while taking a piss, a 1 1/2' tree with 7 leaves that r 7 to 8" long and 5 to 7" wide. (I just heard a distance thunder, and another.) I have no tent, no sleeping bag or cooler. OR MY GOD, NO WAY TO MAKE COFFEE in the morning!!! (Pause) Got to go start a fire. I brought no firewood, been pickin' up stuff, and also have a cheat small fire starter log, $33 cents at Walmart. Got it started! @ 1835.

There won't be a big fire tonight, it all depends on how diligent I am in collecting wood? (Long Pause). (1850): Thunder is getting louder and more frequent: I suppose I'm goin' to rained on. (1858): Here comes the fuckin' host; I've found that most of the National Forests and especially the State Parks host (not all) are assholes. I almost never fit their idea of camping, and tonight especially is an extreme example. I hope the asshole will not harass me, or STOP.

The sunlight or sunset is like a flashlight shining thru the trees. I'm in the car escaping the supposed on-coming storm. I'm evidently facing west listening to the Eagles sing All Night Long. (1934) Rosanna, Rosanna. I had an affair with a woman named Roseanne. One of my best friends sister. He died at early 30's.

The storm has passed! (1944)

Actually written on 6/23/06: Letters and notes to one of my son's.

Your Si-ness,

(1845) 2nd night at Stoney Fork Campground in the Jefferson National Forest.
(Distant thunder).

(2005) While sittin' in my car because of a thunder storm, 4 deer crossed my path; one at a time. The 3rd one stopped and looked at me for at least a full minute! I stuck my head out and said hello, then started talking to him/her like I do with my dogs. Inviting him/her to come to me but to no avail!

(2030) Did you no that on most days I have to look @ my cell phone to see what the date is? I always have to stop and think even what day of the week it is!
(2050) A cop just drove by and I waved at him__scared shitless that I would be suspect. I am suspect! Sittin' here in the car to avoid the rain, gettin' drunk on cheap beer: if he stopped, I would be caught more or less.
(2055) Looks like it's stopped raining for now. So, I'm gonna go build a fire. Covered up the wood that I found around B4 the rain.

Hello Everyone!
Been out on the road all work-week long. From Monday till today Friday. Stayed at Stoney Fork Camp Ground, about 9 miles north of Withyville, VA in the Jefferson Nat'l Forest from 7/3/6 till 7/7/6 going to work in Wytheville, Galax, Pulaski, after Bristol, VA and Johnson City, TN. Then to Bluefield, VA/WV, Princeton, WV, Kinball, WV; (these being stops at stores I service) definitely not the the towns I went through! Founfd a new campground between Pearisburg, VA and Princeton, WV. Great place for a commercial campground, ie, not either state parks or national forest areas. $10 a night! Laid back management, good folks. I'll be staying there at least once a week, maybe more. That includes , JOE, the winter!! U once told me this sort of travel would get old, especially winter. WRONG! Yes, sometimes I'm so tired, that I don't feel like setting up camp, but I do. I've been doing this a long time, and I have it down to a science.
So, basically. FUCK You!

Then today, I drove through coal towns, that their very exsitence came because of coal. You ride through them, and the houses are right to your left and right. One town after another with no service stations I might add. My low indicator was on and I came town after town with no service (GAS) stations. I've done this many times, which is stupid. Finally, in War, WV, there a staion with only $3/gallon, and I'm so glad..............I get $10 worth. By this time I would have paid whatever the cost. I can't tell you how many times I've been on empty (running on empty, Jackson Brown), and have some how survived?

Florida: 1988-2002

Written 1/9/2:
I'm always amazed at rural America. I remember decades ago, I was talking with a woman (June Blalock) at a high school reunion pre-get-together and I made a derogutory remark about red-necks. She responded with a statement that has stuck with me to this day. She said, "red-necks are the backbone of this country."

DID YOU KNOW:

1) 40 million abortions have been performed since 1973. (Imagine Oregon and California collapsing into the Pacific Ocean.)

R.H.Phillips, 1998, Cabernet Sauvignon
1.5 Liter, Do I need to say anything else?